I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
