You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
