So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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