im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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