I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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