don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Houston, we have a squirter
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
