At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
