the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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