so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it's like iHOP with fire
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
