The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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