I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
