Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
