Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
