Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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