You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
