Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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