$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
