I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
