i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
