DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
