We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
