just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Boobs are out for the taking
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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