You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
