i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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