They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
