It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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