Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
