Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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