He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
