Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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