how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
