That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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