if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Don't tell me you're on acid again
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
