I wanna passion pit in your ass
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
tell me about the eggs
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
