i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
