WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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