i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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