Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
