people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize