You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
