I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
