So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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