ugly people sure do ruin things
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
