You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When are your genitals available?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
