Ambien. No doubt about it.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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