i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
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