Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
