Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
