doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize