and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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