I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Are we still banned from the library?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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