and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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