I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
