Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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