YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
