I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
