Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
