is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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