I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
