why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
