also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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