there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
