I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
