I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Betty ford says i'm here all night
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We are two peas in an std pod
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
