Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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