The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize