is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
