I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize